On Rejection: Simone Paget

Sex, tacos, and podcasting - a modern holy trinity?

Hi everyone!

I’m very excited to bring you this interview from my friend and fellow writer, Simone Paget. She does some very fun and exciting writing around sex and dating. Plus, she hosts a podcast, We’re Never Doing This Again, which I was a guest on a few months ago. Very excited for you to hear about her experiences with rejection.

If you’re just discovering Collected Rejections, welcome! In this world, writing is still fun, rejection is not a bad word, and we’re all here to grow as writers. If you’re into that, subscribe to this newsletter here:

Hi Simone! Tell us about a time you experienced rejection.

Rejection is partly responsible for me becoming a professional writer. In the six months before I made the move to freelance writing full time, I was fired from not one, but two jobs. At the time, my day job involved doing communications (and communications adjacent) stuff for a large university. I'd been writing my sex and relationship blog, Skinny Dip for couple of years and had already started freelancing for Elle Canada, among other places. So, I spent most of my workdays distracted (thinking about writing) and/or worried that my employer would discover my blog full of sex toy reviews. Note: I didn't get fired from either of my previous positions for writing about dildos. I was just legitimately bad at my job!

How did you get over it?

At the time, I remember feeling humiliated, like I'd somehow failed at adulting. I was also relieved. Working in those previous environments always felt a bit like I was trying to fit square pegs into round holes. On the other hand, writing allowed me to be myself. So, I decided to pursue it full-time. I'm now incredibly grateful for my old bosses who let me go. Not only did it give me a much needed push forward, but it also helped me develop a tolerance for rejection that's helped me as a freelancer. While it can still sting, I find it's helpful to reframe rejection as re-direction. 

If you could go back and tell yourself anything right before that experience, what would you say? 

This is going to suck and you're going to feel very embarrassed but it's pushing you in the right direction. The thing that kept you distracted and therefore, prevented you from excelling in those other jobs (a desire and passion for writing!) is actually your superpower. Keep following your intuition and creating the kind of content you want to see in the world. 

You've been a columnist for the Toronto Sun for a while now! How does writing that column impact your other writing?

Yes! I've been the nationally syndicated sex and relationship columnist for the Toronto Sun since 2013. When I started my blog in 2009, one of my intentions was to eventually have my own sex column in a major publication. It still feels kind of surreal that I actually made it happen! For the past ten years, I've written a 650 word article, nearly every single week, come rain or shine. While it hasn't always been easy, I'm so grateful for the consistency. The pieces I write often have a super quick turnaround (sometimes I don't have a topic lined up until the day of), so it's forced me to become an efficient writer, interviewer, researcher and self-editor. My goal has always been to "be the person/voice I needed when I was younger," (and hopefully, entertain people in the process). My column provides me with a platform to be of service to others. I get to interview some really interesting people, share that knowledge and talk about my own experiences in a way that lets people know that they aren't alone. The column has given me an outlet to process whatever is going on in my life, while at the same time learning alongside with the reader. 

What are you working on now?

I recently launched We're Never Doing This Again my podcast about hilariously bad dates, sex, and other messy life experiences. I also just launched my Substack, Love, Peace and Tacos, where I write about self-discovery and pleasure (with a side of tacos!) In addition to my Toronto Sun column, most of my editorial work covers food, travel and lifestyle topics (you can read my recent work here). I'm looking forward to using my Substack as a place to bring all of these interests together. 

You can follow Simone on Instagram and Twitter. Her podcast is also on Instagram.