On Rejection: Shirley Chan

Creative non-fiction writer and memoirist

Hi y’all,

So excited to introduce you all to Shirley Chan, a great writer I’ve been lucky enough to meet through the power of the internet. You may remember me mentioning her in my essay, Who Are We Conforming For? which I published here a couple of weeks ago.

If you’re just discovering Collected Rejections, welcome! In this world, writing is still fun, rejection is not a bad word, and we’re all here to grow as writers. If you’re into that, subscribe to this newsletter here:

Hi Shirley! Tell us about a time you experienced rejection.

This isn’t writing related, but shapes my approach to writing. When I interviewed for my current job (leading content design at an AI company), I was initially rejected after the final round of interviews. I knew I was going to be rejected about 20 minutes into the interview because I had misjudged what to present: I was giving a detailed explanation of past work that only other content designers would appreciate, but I was presenting to product managers and people in leadership. Those people were interested in how I could simplify content design… not how I could nerd out about it! 

How did you get over it?  

I told the recruiter I understood what happened and what I could do to adjust. He liked my analysis and recommended that the interview panel meet with me again. When they did, I showed the same work, presented with their perspectives in mind. I got the job! 

How do you apply this to your creative writing?

Well, first off, when I’m writing for myself, it’s just me. I try to protect that freedom of mind because it has to start there.

Once I’m editing with an intent to share my work though, I have to think of my audience. In my interview, I presented the same information twice. But the second time, the information made sense to the people receiving it.

There’s a really interesting balancing act between personal expression and connection with others. In order to reach other people with my writing, and give them a reason to spend time reading, I have to think about how to translate my genuine experience into a form they understand.

This is the art and the science of our craft. 

Last year, you attended several literary programs, including Tin House Summer Workshop and Rooted & Written! What was that application process like and how did being a fellow impact your writing? 

Applying was the hardest the first time because I had to slow down and think about why I was applying, in order to write my artist statements, synopsis of work, and answer questions. It got me excited because I had to take myself seriously as a writer, but it was also emotional to decide to take myself that seriously. Like, me? Me?? How dare I.

Once I worked through it though, the application process got easier. I saved the language I liked and refined answers, so I wasn’t starting from zero anymore. And I framed that work as investing in myself, being my own hype man, instead of as having to justify my work. It’s really the same output, but it feels more empowering! 

About the impact, getting accepted to programs opens doors in a few ways! The relationships I gained with other writers taking their work seriously was huge. It validated my own hard work and gave me a network to tap into. It also pre-validated my writing ability: I had to have a certain level of technical craft and vision to get those acceptances. But it doesn’t guarantee other acceptances (I keep making it onto the Kenyon Review workshop waitlist but not making it into the program… my next cover letter to them will just be all caps: LOVE ME PLEASE). 

On that note, after I attended 3 programs this year, I was burned out. No matter how prestigious the program, I still had to do the work as a writer, and I had spent my energy on traveling and workshopping. So I’m scaling back my Pokemon approach (gotta catch them all) and being more balanced about what I apply to and attend.

What are you working on now?

Completing my memoir about growing up in a Chinese restaurant in upstate New York! I’m at a stage where I have to push past the urge to sugarcoat and protect my family’s feelings, if I want to tell a full tale. The reader always knows. And it’s really subtle because it is overall such a tale of joy! I was lucky with the family I was born into… but still had to navigate competing cultures, looking and acting different from other kids in the American suburbs, and developing my identity while dealing with customers in a family business. It’s extremely hard to look at all those layers directly. 

So maybe going back to therapy. Anything to finish this book! 

You can follow Shirley on Twitter and Instagram, or check out her website.